make up baby

by uhbeautifuldisaster

i know i’m not the only one who feels reflective, except I ponder if I think back too far. Let’s see how far we’ve come, and I’m alread 21, on the threshood of adulthood, the most beautiful I’ll ever be perhaps, and a feeling of longing overwhelms me. There’s so much I want to become, but this is who I am right now: a young lady with tender feet, just gaining her independence.

The old me, for a very long time, was very depressed. I still refuse to believe that I have a disorder, and that my severe saddess and self-loathing ceases when i accept  who I am and begin to love my imperfection. These things had to happen in order to shift my perspective. Forgiveness and acceptance. I started to learn who I was all over again, and this is an exhilerating process; to rediscover your passions and blossom.


I don’t fight my hair as much. (As a matter of fact, I haven’t straightened my hair in 3 months) and I’ve learned to do things I love in variations. I love my skin, mastering the basics of a matte finish. I don’t play with dark eyeshadows as much at all as i used to, and I have lots of nudes and pencils to play with. I fucking love my freckles and red hair and I’m happy the way I am. I picked up The Hobbit and I’ve never read any of the lord of the rings books before, as much as a bibliophile as i am, and it’s so wonderful to emmerse yourself in something like fantasy. I lose track of time.

My next posts are going to be reviews on the beauty products and movies i’ve hauled since i started working. Remember, I’m not a celebrity, I don’t live in a huge city. Our neighbors own a huge 2 story house with 14 acres, including horses and red barn with that bright white X on the large door. I don’t work at a hospital and make 25 dollars an hour, people aren’t asking for my autograph; I’m a waitress.