Animal I Have Become

by uhbeautifuldisaster

“Help me believe it’s not the real me

somebody save me from this animal i have become.”

 

Lately, I feel like something is holding me or changing my personality. You’re encouraged to find role models to inspire you, maybe even look up to your successful peers. But all i see is a reflection of all my failures and imperfections. I noticed my life was taking a different path than my fantasy. Would my reality ever live up?

Eduardo coached me on some basic Bruce Lee jeet kune do. He was explaining about connecting a punch to your enemy. “You have to WANT your punch to make a connection with your target. Do you understand?”

I want to make a huge impact on my life. I think I’ve died a little bit every day, trying to understand the formula for abundance. Will i spend the next year working as a sever? Or will I find the courage to pursue a better career path and truly believe that deep inside me is a novel or something short of a masterpiece? 

What’s pertinent now is to change my perspective on my reality. I’ve come to realize that the horrible events that have transpired in the past have shattered my identity, but on a positive note, I am more sure of who I was. I know now where dreams come from.

i know that i have a lot of things i need to let go. sometimes i feel like i’ve forgiven myself completely, and then the next i don’t know how to let her go.

 

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