The Quest for an Abudance in Sunshine

where you find: the key to happiness, personal experience, a redhead's poetry, book reviews, new science, nature, rock'n alt. medicine

Tag: inspiration

Animal I Have Become

“Help me believe it’s not the real me

somebody save me from this animal i have become.”


Lately, I feel like something is holding me or changing my personality. You’re encouraged to find role models to inspire you, maybe even look up to your successful peers. But all i see is a reflection of all my failures and imperfections. I noticed my life was taking a different path than my fantasy. Would my reality ever live up?

Eduardo coached me on some basic Bruce Lee jeet kune do. He was explaining about connecting a punch to your enemy. “You have to WANT your punch to make a connection with your target. Do you understand?”

I want to make a huge impact on my life. I think I’ve died a little bit every day, trying to understand the formula for abundance. Will i spend the next year working as a sever? Or will I find the courage to pursue a better career path and truly believe that deep inside me is a novel or something short of a masterpiece? 

What’s pertinent now is to change my perspective on my reality. I’ve come to realize that the horrible events that have transpired in the past have shattered my identity, but on a positive note, I am more sure of who I was. I know now where dreams come from.

i know that i have a lot of things i need to let go. sometimes i feel like i’ve forgiven myself completely, and then the next i don’t know how to let her go.



Loving Awareness

quote mk

Times are really hard right now, help keep music in my life by supporting this blog here at THE HELP I want to help make a difference in other people’s life but there’s nothing I can do right now without your help.

Fall Fashion Style




thigh gap

stripped and ripped jeans

Hey ya’ll I need help raising money for a violin. A guest violinst offered to teach me with 14 + years experience. Due to unfortunate circumstances, I’ve been rock bottom. Let me share my favorite pin interest style posts, and please consider donating a cup of tea – it’s beneficial for every one involved! Contribute to THE HELP @


DIY Macrame Bracelet

Choose your signature charms, jump rings and take a handful of bangles (who doesn’t have these somewhere?) and embroidery thread!

embroidery thread

You can make it more memoriable by taking your BFF to the nearest bead store. Beady eyed Bff’s! Lavish in your unique style ladies.

You’ll wrap the thread around the bangle, then attach the charm using a jump ring. TRY THIS: Know the square knot? This adds detail or try switching colors.)

Feel free to use the reblog feature guys (: Let me know how you do and comment below cuz I wanna see what you guys come up with<3

P.s. sorry for the lame layout, I would've taken a picture of my handmade bracelets, but i cannot find my dear usb cable.

like my posts? i try to pick things to write about that will make you smile and only you can make a huge difference in my life, please support my music THE HELP @

Hard Love

enough enough

This is always hard to admit. You think after so much positive self talk I’d feel more confident, more loving towards myself. Right now, during these circumstances, I’m learning every day about patience. Picture me standing on my left foot and lifting my right leg as high as it could go, straining for elegance. I wobble. I try to balance on the tippy toes of my left foot, pushing my weight and insecurities hard into the floor. I faulter. When I participated in yoga, i strained as far as I could go, determined that I was flexible and strong. What you see is just skin deep. After a few sessions I stopped because my hips kept popping. (My educated guess was that after realigning myself this was the result of suction and fluids.) I stopped my breathing exercizes and drank less and less water. Desperate tears fell down my face while I fed the goats. Goats remind me of Alexander the Great. I wanted to gain an empire and do it big, Queen Elizabeth style. Patience. Don’t sell yourself short just because you can’t bend over backwards like a ballerina just yet. Hard love. Impersonal love. Love yourself, you work so hard to stay clean with no running water. The walls can be dilepated and the bathroom can rot but keep your spirits high, create music and don’t stop learning. Pick up your pencil and books again, and do so daring greatly.

Only you can help keep music close to my life. Make a generous donation, 5, 10, or 20 dollars can lighten up my life so much. Lex, professional model at , contributed to my campaign and you can too show your support.

Hear You Me

alphonse mucha

alphonse mucha

Thanks to Lexa at for her contribution. I think generosity is the greatest virtue and that’s pretty amazing in a person. With your support you can help keep music in my life. Share it on other social media to get it out there.
Scroll down further
and you’ll see great videos,
they’re my favorite songs
and confessions of a redhead.

Be Love Now –

Be Love Now


I really need some help on my journey. Make a generous donation only you can help me reach my goal of $80 for music!

Tie Loose Ends

steve smith

art by Steve Smith

Growing up in Southern California, I made macrame bracelets for friends. That was a long time ago. A dancer looking out for me in Colorado gave me an incredibly generous gift: crochet needles, yarn, and books. I’ve been non stop tying knots. It feels therapeutic to me. I went through my junk cigar box and picked out charms. I’m tying time in knots, inspired by themes around my room – the news on war, Eduardo’s camo jacket, my attitude not to look back. Matching colors with meanings. It was almost like a rite of passage when I learned the square knot.

We’re taking the greyhound in a week. I’m so excited to start our life in a new city. I hope I won’t get too nervous. My short term goals:

– get a job at Walgreens or a resturant
– support my love and best friend as he works impressively in the oil fields
– sell bracelets for tuition
– continue my daily fitness regimen
– take lots of pictures

My long term goals:

– get a second part time job for tuition
– buy a car
– enroll in a dance class
– become a pharmacy technician

Napoleon Hill advises “to create a definite plan of action and begin at once, without hesitation.”

Nailing Hair Like A Pro

cate b

I can’t tell you how long I’ve visualized my hair a different colour than red. I went through phases like anybody else:

Phase 1: Platinum Blond
Phase 2: Pastel Lavender
Phase 3: Teal
Phase 4: The Red Spectrum
Phase 5: Platinum Blond

I was fed up with what I saw in the mirror and desired change. Why not? My friend bought me Splash! Hair Dye from CVS but even I was skeptical and I was drawing worried looks from my boyfriend. “I think you look great the way you look now.” He rationalized. I really don’t want my hair to come out orange or yellow and I need to prevent damage, so I am researching hair tutorials. These sites have been super helpful and have precise instructions.

Let’s see how we can make this work! I’ll post before and after pictures next week! Also I’m having a huge yard sale. Everything must go. It’s liberating. I’ll be using the money to by greyhound bus tickets for me and my bad baby.

We Love –

It’s too much to think of everything I own on sale for cheap at a storage unit. Everything ahead will be better than what we leave here. I have more than 30 books of classic literature for sale. A Seperate Peace, The Sun Also Rises, A Clockwork Orange, When The Emperor Was Divine. Irresitable titles, gorgeous covers. I have to open every one before I let them go. I’m keeping the writers that I love to read the most. If I think back on it, Joseph Campbell advises to lavish in your passions and be certain of them. Follow Your Bliss. All these stories are a testament to my desire to become a writer, and now it’s down to a couple of worn paper backs. The Illustrated Man, The Joy Luck Club, Esoteric Anatomy, The Encyclopedia of World History. Will our trip run smoothly? I’m so happy we’re getting out of this place, nothing but small minded people and thieves.