The Quest for an Abudance in Sunshine

where you find: the key to happiness, personal experience, a redhead's poetry, book reviews, new science, nature, rock'n alt. medicine

Tag: positive

Tell Me That You Need Me

There’s a few side quests I’m currently undertaking for a better way of living.

Recap: https://wherehavealltheflowers.wordpress.com/2013/03/20/you-could-be-happy/

# 2 SMILE MORE OFTEN

Try smiling after a family disagreement. (: I discovered it’s harder to harbor a grudge with a smile on your face. This ties in to think happier thoughts. What makes you smile? LAUGH without holding back, and if it’s too hard to smile then take a breather, this too shall pass.

# 56 REPEAT YOUR FRIENDS WORDS BACK TO HIM

What an epic speech, you end up giving the gentleman a round of applause to the private glow of your computer monitor. You can’t help it!
I asked Edwardo how to best listen, and he explained that you must discipline your mind and pay attention. “Most of the time when you’re discussing something to someone, they are thinking about what they are going to say, or about whatever concern they had, or what they want to do, they didn’t hear anything you just said, couldn’t repeat a word back to you, gosh i hate that.”

I’ve always admired Edwardo’s ability to engage in debates with a strong opinion, and hold on to his belief. It occurred to me that what made him a powerful speaker was the fact that he paid attention to the opposing side’s perspective.

I don’t always stay in the room with the person I’m with. Sometimes I’m in my own little world. I was always told to look at the person in the eyes when you talk to them, but I know it’s much better to keep your chin up horizontal from the floor and look down with your eyes. It keeps me emotionally engaged.

Also, THINK TWICE. Imagine a carpenter with his measuring tape. He measures the distance twice.

Also, i got this tip from psychologist Tal Ben Shahar: listen to music attentively. You know, listen to the drummer, the trumpet, the lyrics, a band is a collection of talents. I have my own little secluded section cut off where I can just drown in music, and i devote one hour at least to the songs I dig the most.

Music is in our soul.

Sharing with you now a song that lifts me up.

#58 LAVISHLY PRAISE BEHAVIOR YOU WANT REPEATED

I like to take this into a sexual context. I am in a healthy relationship with my high school sweetheart, so spice things up a bit. Confidence in bed is divine.

Also, I noticed that Edwardo praises me every time I paint. While I’m painting, I’m unafraid to introduce the draft to him, even when I’m feeling low and discouraged and like crap, like I don’t amount to anything, and then his love rearranges the universe, with kindness he kills the pessimistic trespasser and with a comforting voice says, “I think your painting is coming along great.”

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Positive Psychology

The study of psychology used to solidify the idea that I had a genetic, predetermined mental neurosis, that my brain functioned abnormally, UNTIL I found a book I had from my library assistant days: Tal Ben Shahar’s “Happier.” It came in a bright yellow cover with red texts. I can’t believe I had this book on me for a year and hadn’t read this doctor’s new theories. Sometimes we find things at the time we need them the most. Before I read the novel, I listened to 8 hrs of this Harvard course I posted here. Wonderful, groundbreaking work.
This new year I wanted to start off acknowledging the best things of last year that made a huge impact on me. The real work is applying what he has to say in your normal life to make a radical change to break the depression, anorexia, drug abuse, alcoholism, or just unhappiness – whatever name your disease.
I feel like it’s my responsibility to share this. Tomorrow, I will share a poem that reveals something good about you.